Day 10 - One Confession

1. I eat a lot.

LOLJK

I expect too much from people.

Day 9 - Two Smilies That Represent My Mood

1. :D

2. ^______^

BECAUSE I had Jollibee for breakfast, saw my bf & he made me another delicious dinner. LIFE IS SWELL!

& that feeling of love and secure when you hug me tight for the longest time, o.my.

I don't want to sleep EVER again

I literally woke up crying with pain.

Dream: He died. In my dream I felt how devastated I was, my mind was overwhelmed and I was just going insane. The only thing I could feel was this surge of hurt that struck through my chest. (this may sound dramatic, but every single words are true). I REALLY felt that certain pain, and that RARELY happen in dreams. EVERYONE from RISE was there. Someone said the ashes was sent to Japan 3 hours ago. I ran to my mom crying my heart out then I ended up with my left arm on a table, my legs on the ground and my eyes filled with tears.. Then I woke up scared for my life, I quickly grabbed the phone and called his mom - she said it was true.

Reality: Woke up again(This time, more confused thinking if I was dreaming again) I rushed to get my cellphone and called him, with a quick sigh of relief I burst out in tears and I was glad his voice was on the other line.

This may sound like WTF to you, but honestly I can say the same thing. WHAT THE EF. HAHA he was probably thinking the same thing when I called him with my crying voice LOL!

Holy shiznits. Did I just experience Inception? In my dream I woke up from a dream ... wut. LOL

THIS made me realize something...

Day 8 - Three Turn Ons

1. Mesmerizing smile w/ rainbow eyes

2. Good Sense of style

3. Tall&athletic, lol.

Day 7 - Four Turn Offs

1. Short. I'm a tall girl. Nuff' said.
2. smokes/do drugs/non-virgins/drinking
3. Cockyness
4. Disrespectful

No need to explain :P

Day 6 - Five People Who Mean A lot to You

1. God
2. Family
3. Taiyo
4. Friends
5. RISE / The 2 losers in surrey & the other loser in Calgary

I think I can live in the school's computer lab.

Day 5 - Six Things You Wish You Could Change or Wish You'd Never Done

1. I wish I didn't date any guys in High school (TH is an exception haha). Education should have always been first.
2. I wish I wasn't so clumsy with my high tech gadgets
3. I wish I learned how to play the piano, sing & played sports at a younger age
4. I wish I didn't eff grade 11/12 up and took it more seriously
5. I wish I didn't experience insomnia numerous times in the early years.... = eyebags
6. I wish I could change my health before gr. 8 when alopecia occured.

Day 4 - Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

1. Taiyo

2. My Hunger pretty much comes every other second

3. My future (education, job & him)

4. Check my social network sites

5. Now that I have a car, places & restaurants

6. When will I have time to read?

7. What is due this week? ....

Day 3 - Eight Ways to Win My Heart

1. naturally caring. The little things count, I look for guys that actually care, + respectful & NICE without them even realizing it.

2. Sense of Humor. MAKE ME LAUGH HARD & I'll frikken throw my heart at you. But don't be too much of a joker, have some maturity level.

3. Athletic/Active. I don't want no couch potato! When you're active I don't mind going outdoor and doing things with you (even I know I get lazy too..THEREFORE I need non-lazy guys or else both of us are just gonna be melted on the couch -__-) I'm not that pro when it comes to being athletic, so I definitely love it when a guy will be able teach me the ways to play and being physically active is *sexy face*.

4. Fearless towards embarrassment. "you only feel embarrass when you care what others think" (another fave quote). Take cute/silly/ugly pictures with me and enjoy it, don't facepalm me *this is a must. If you know me well enough, pictures = tsunami. I go crazy cause funny memories like these are captured and it's good to just laugh it out. Plus, you'll know how flexible your face can get. Sing out loud & don't care even if you don't know the lyrics. Play along, when I act G, when I act retarded and those kinds of things. (Not all the time, but you know what I mean).

5. Commitment. Don't be a sellout, don't bailout, don't get my hopes high and then crush it. Once that happens, I know well enough our relationship will just go down the drain. It's really disappointing, so show me that you're up for it & not bailout the last minute all the time. (if it's something important, then that I fully understand)

6. Complete Honesty & Sincerity. Pretty self-explanatory. Truth hurts but I'll take the pain, at least it shows me you got guts to be a man of truth.

7. Know the equation of love. I'll love it if you're a dork/nerd, I like em' smart & full of information I myself have never heard of before. I want you to be serious in school, but not to the extent where all you focus on is school(...know how to handle time as well). Dorks = try to be funny but sometimes lame HAHA I think they're cute.

8. Dress for yourself. For this I mean, don't be too materialistic, don't dress up like every other h-core vietnamese w/ them kappas & edhardy glitter shirts, or them hypebeast. Don't follow the crowd, you don't have to care what you look like every second or just .. don't let appearance get to you. Just dress however you want, but don't dress to impress.

I know just 8, but imma break the rules and put one more: Family Love. If your able to let me join your family dinners and events,, then that can really put a smile on my face. (family is important in life) & I like guys who are very involved w/ his family and close with his siblings. It's cute.

if you got 9/8 i'm DTF. jokes just DTC. HEHE .

jk! I got a bf. Go away.

Day 2 - Nine Things About Yourself

1. I Frikken love to laugh. If you're able to make me piss my pants from laughter, i'll consider you as a LOL-worthy friend.

2. I'm not musically talented, and that is something i'm ashamed about.

3. When it comes to spending money on clothes&food I'm VERY uptight about it. Clothes that are below 10$ & still look good = YES ..spending big amounts of money for clothing..to me that's a nono. However, when it comes to bf & treating THAT I don't mind spending, heck i'd use my lifesavings (if i had any ...) for him.

4. it's weird, I am an idiot YES but I love to read books.

5. I'm an INTERNET JUNKIE. I need at least my daily dose of internet or else I get cranky. Haha not really, I just need one quick taste of the social life in the e-world.

6. With all the media around us & the people from my generation .. my self esteem goes lower by the second.

7. My all time pet-peeve: WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON. It gets me soooo furious when that happens! "How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left you?" (one of my fave quotes) PLEASE SAVE ENERGY! I'm really concerned about it. No jokes.

8. Not many people know this, but on my soft side I like to paint, take beautiful pictures, bake and ride on unicorns.

9. call me hypocrite but I really hate liars esp. when you have evidence or what is even more worse is that you can even tell they lied .. *sigh

+ I'm deeply in love :)

Day 1 – Ten things you want to say to 10 different people right now

1. Please don't forget our past memories, no lies but I treasure our friendship.

2. Calm down on what you call ''cool'' and heck, you might be 'cooler' than you think.

3. You yourself DEFINITELY changed(style/attitude-wise) ever since I first met you & It's okay to change just don't forget who you really are.

4. Tell me your TRUE feelings & what you HONESTLY think of what is going on.

5. No one has the right to treat you this way, you may be the way you are but it's stupid how it ended up like this. Don't worry, people like them need to learn how to cherish friendships.

6. you're fun to be with! No lies! but your off days ...they tick me off a little ( I didn't think you'd even have off days but apparently you do :\ )

7. ... no girls should ever deserve you. (Sounds mean but that's my honest opinion) "I wanna date every single girl and know if she's 'the one' " Agree w/ my opinion yet?

8. sup douchebag HAHAH!

9. Save the drama fo yo momma, but yeah .. stop taking life so seriously. Happy pills? I got tons.

10. I love you .. oh oops :$ a giveaway HEHE .. haha!

BEAUTIFUL WEATHER ^__^

FUNNNNN PSYCHOLOGY LAB - NO JOKES! Looking at trippy images & walking down the hallway blind HAHA!! Plus, BIO CLASS GOT CANCELLED! Oh gosh, could this day GET any better? =)

Day 1 – JOKES! Here's a survey

Haven't done this in a LONG time

1. So, what are you doing later?
iunno, the usual..smoke some joint and shiz

JK
2. What is your favorite thing to have for dinner?
Brown rice, no lies

3. If you drink it, what do you like in your coffee?
hazelnut cream

4. Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music?
*cough*natalie*cough* - BEYYBLADDEE HAHAHA!!

5. Whose birthday did you last celebrate? What did you do?
Eltanah Chen's - missed the blowing out of cake..i meeean HAD SO MUCH FUN (lawl nojokes)

6. Who is your favorite male singer?
Brian Joo ftw (Y)

7. What kind of computer are you using?
dell netbook

8. Are you listening to your favorite song right now?
no

9. What is your favorite day of the week, and why?
Thursdays. Cause I get to see him

10. Why do you think people lie?
LOTS of reasons + depending on the situation

11. How often do you watch television? What do you watch?
GLEE&NHL purpose only

12. When was the last time you burned any part of your body?
I'm already hot

13. Do you hate when people invite themselves to events?
meh, don't cur - DEPENDS ACTUALLY!

14. Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday?
school NO work yeeez

15. If you attend school, what do you do on your days off?
SEE SNOOKUMS! :D HAHA, CHEELL W/ RISE, HW, KDRAMA ETC

16. What are the last three songs you listened to?
-

17. If you smoke, what color is your lighter?
double rainbow

18. What is missing from your wardrobe that you need to buy?
clothes i want

19. Does someone owe you over twenty dollars?
no cause i'm usually the one that owes people money -__-

20. What city, state and country do you live in?
Jerusalem

21. Is there anything you want to say to someone?
yes. HOPE KARMA EATS YOU >:|

22. Are you really pale? If so, do you mind?
Edward doesn't mind, but Jacob boy does

23. Are your nails painted? What color?
naw

24. Do you listen to any acoustic bands, or singers?
yes <3>

25. How many arm chairs are in your house?
dunno

26. Do you have a favorite YouTuber? Who?
WONGFU & COMMUNITYCHANNEL

27. When was the last time you witnessed a sunshower?
o0o0o I don't rememberr

28. Do you think roses are an overrated way of showing love?
NOPENOPEE

29. When was the last time you saw your "number three"?

wut?

30. Would you say you cry often?
heckyez

i thought i'd be over it.. guess not

thought today would be different, that's why I deleted the recent post...guess not. It'll always be like this huh? I'm gonna try another day and see how it goes. If that certain topic comes up randomly..i will shoot my toes so i'd rather have a different feel of pain than somewhere deep in my chest.

I'm seriously getting tired.
You make me happy f'reals!, but that little thing can bring me down way more than I can expect. But you'll never know. It's just me thinking too much, but trust me .. I notice these little things.

Not a care in the world

Thanks but I got a little disappointed. No biggy. I guess.

I wish...i just wish ..

screw it...nvm.

YAYYYYYYYY

Here I am trying to study for my Lab exam tomorrow for Earth science ... GRAGRRS -__- Thank goodness the pimples aren't awake yet 0_0 Aanyways BIO: this week's score on my quiz is 92% ! phew* Seriously, my punishment if I do go below 86% is to down a tube of wasabi, no jokes. okay jokes..maybe just a tsp. Hmm O! and pyschology! first test got back today another good phew*! Got a B :D keeeep going Jocelyn, this is for you damn future >:( if you fail. YOU FAIL 4 EVER, (I know how you chinese kids feel, sigh I feel sorry for you guys HAHA).Anyways mom just gave me 10 free monopoly "money" for mcdonalds...FREE 1 LARGE FRIES..per customer :( .. I CAN ALWAYS DRESS UP DIFFERENTLY LOL (only for oct. 6/7) and I got 10 of em! DZAAANG 10 FREE LARGE FRIES. OOHHHHH D;

Oh yeeez, and my road test is on Oct 22. Thanks for the notice icbc & vietnamese dood! -___-"

WDFUDGE, i should be studying OKEHHHHH I'LL CONTINUE LATAR

& more serious blogs later when i hab timee

you're the CUTEST boy alive.

I love your eyes, I love how you still have your winnie the pooh since you were young, I love how I randomly skype with you, I love how you tell me i'm beautiful everyday and I love you I REEEEALLY do! haha :$ trust me, I can write more but it'll get cheesier.

readers: Sorry I keep writing bout him ..he's just so LKAJSDFKLJ! HAHA memorrieeees! ^____^

Jack, go0o0od boy!

BAHA! Sooo while I was studying, Jack tried getting my attention by just starring at me and putting both his paws on my lap. So OKAAYYS here! HAHA distractionn!! His head stood still when I kept putting it up ;P!!!

That's all I wanted to hear.

*walking home from nightmarket*

" you make me feel really warm"

*pouring rain & soaking wet*

me: "what?!"

"you make feel reallyy happy *puts hand on his heart* like warm inside :)"

Hearing that made my day & i'm just glad I do.

Seriously, even with the most terrible weather .. you make me :) !

*sorry about these little moments, I just want to go back and remember these little things that mean so much.

_______________________________________________________

the last week for night market! I'll miss you. Spent around 20 bucks on food .. like always haha. Finally got to try the hurricane fries! D-lish! We hanged around Jacky's food tent where they were selling fish cakes.HOOKUPS HOOKUPS :)! Walked around with Taiyo all soaked ..with no umbrellas and the rain was pouring really hard! Sheesh, hatchu rain! & Omg, first time trying Beaver tails !! SOOOOO LONGG & also tried the deep fried candy bar .. Oh it goes so well w/ the beaver tail. My mouth was thanking me. :$ OH! and of course the LAWLS from Meg & Vhorn HAHA! :'D

♥

probably THE best thing that happened this summer .

this world works wonders ...

3rd week of August 2010

Oh memories just keep piling up, and summer 2010 ... Thank You :)

MONDAY: Beach Day w/ Surrey friends / Photoshoot Sesh

the girlieeees haha

TUESDAY: Photoshoot/Chill w. Paula Parman =) THANK YOU X234U01

Such a delicious dinner(KD FTW), BEST PINEAPPLE EVER TASTED srsly.

WEDNESDAY: metro/douglas

THURSDAY: Michelle's 18th Birthday @ The BoatHouse .SO DELISH ..600 bucks overall, dzang. Hope you had a good one!

FRIDAY: Filipino Outing, Dowtown chillage & the 100yrs PNE Parade down by English Bay

1 week and a half left of summer... KEEP IT COMMIINN' :) I've literally enjoyed my summer to the fullest !

2nd Week of August 2010

1 month turned into one week left. Niiiiiice (Y)

My second week of August consisted of, shopping (x5), Canada Games Pool with Childhood family friends, Capstone/Photoshoot with Rise+Tony, Lotto 649 North Van Beach Day & My brother's BBQ (filipino bbq, I may add...pre'scary cause they're all old and short Haha!)

Pictures later! Just finished running w/ Nilno @ windermere. I hateeee it when the sun comes up, cause the breeze feels good @ like 6 in the morning then boom! You get hit by sun rays -__-

Summer Being Well Spent

FIRST WEEK OF AUGUST HELLLOOOOO :

MONDAY: Journey to Buntzen Lake. Jamie drove us there and it took us 2 hours to get there, damn you Debbie/Susan! (GPS) But the nature walk from our parked car to the beach was worth it.

TUESDAY: Capstone with Melissa and Jamie (since childhood) Updated our lives + relationships. Went around Downtown granville and ate at Babylon, best place evar!

WEDNESDAY: Lotto 649 (Jill, miche and I) Went around and biked Downtown -> Stanley Park. Just Like last year, aw shucks!

THURSDAY: My calendar's says empty .. -__-" Gosh, guess I didn't do anything.

I really do.

(7:28 AM) concepcion: have funn, and goodnight :)

(7:28 AM) taiyo: sleep tight love you

"me too! :)" Please understand that i'd rather say it in person and mean it for the first time than tell you on msn.

Slap me silly and tell me everything's real.

Time just Shoots by so fast

recap!

MONDAY; METRO/GRASS VOLLEYBALL

TUESDAY; SWIMMING @ JEROANN'S W/ VIVIEN & 15$ DINNER

WEDNESDAY; MEXICO FIREWORKS

THURSDAY; ACTING/ CHILL DAY @ VIVIEN'S WITH ALIVIA

FRIDAY; COURSE REGISTRATION & INCEPTION MOVIE NIGHT W/ DAVID, SHAIA, NINO AND VIVIEN.

TODAY; CHINA FIREWORKS / DOWNTOWN SHOPPING

start.

AYCE & Despicable Me yesterday, I thought i'd get my mind off things..I guess not. Ayce probably spent more than I ate = $12 bucks. Despicable Me, was aight. The best parts was when Agnes was on..and that's it. Today chores actually let my mind flow away for a good few hours, as well as my 30 min run with my sister. Windermere, grass volleyball with Rise =) Friends, friends friends, that's all I need. I was finally able to talk to Cassandra today - it was more of Rand things, yes her swearing threw me off but I tried staying back to our conversation. She's one of those girls ... not gonna say what but I just know she's one of those. She's a really nice friend though, it was seriously nice meeting her! :)

soo, i'm okay for now. ish.

You're driving me sane .. not

It feels like we're bestfriends, or maybe more than... But phone calls 2 hrs everynight .. How can I not sleep? Walking me home at nights when we're together ..then BAM you'll be gone for a month. I don't know how i'll be able to deal with this sudden change, this cycle just seems to be more familiar with me as my everyday routine @ night.

... i'm gonna feel like poop once he's gone =\

I guess for now just enjoy the time left.

one week left ...

"i'll smile like nothing's wrong and i'll laugh like everything's okay"

just one month, how bad can it be?

WONDERGIRLS! I mean, BESTFRIENDS

my very first concert, and of course it's the wondergirls! yenno my homies B) It was another night to remember, damn maybe the HIGHLIGHT of my summer! Made me the happiest little girl ever. Buttt yennooo, it was just another night at their concert, and they called us to come so no biggie.

Goodnight World.

i'm sick, my throat's a bust, i'm feeling down...this day is just wonderful.
The sun's out, everyone's at the beach and i'm home feeling like a piece of poop.

Goodnight.

her: keep your promise! I wanna know how much I mean to you

him: a lot

...I'm pretty sure her heart skipped a few beats

Scratch that, I'm starting to ... :)

My feelings are going .... boom~! *fireworks* :$

the things you do and say, our conversations..it's just never ending. I'm starting to know ALOT about you and im happy =) im not so confuse anymore either.

The biggest role between us is time. & That's exactly what we both need.

and even just by walking me home can make me sleepless, just thinking of you the whole night it gives me the :) This actually may be my first time experiencing this kind of true feelings for someone. But after my past heart-breaking experience, im still shaky and unsure about certain things...

One thing i'm sure is that you're someone special to me :)

I really hope my wish would come true ...

Done with Highschool

How can I not blog about my last week/day of highschool?!

Actually...wait I can't blog about my last day of highschool. I'ts just too much, 5 years can't be put into a limited amount of characers. Memories, friends, moving schools and other things. It's just too much to type. All i gotta say is...i'll definitely miss every single laughter I shared with everyone

confrontation

I never was really good at confronting people, I guess it all started when I was 12. After grade seven camp, there's this boy ... ( I guess you can call him my first CRUSH ) on msn he wrote down (L) J _ _ _ _ _ N (L) I asked him if that was my name, he quickly denied and carried on with another subject. As time flew, and more conversations emerged..I started to have this "funny" feeling in my tummy every time I hear the "bloop" on msn as his name pops online. On a certain day, he confessed saying He liked me ..and out of my crazy mind, i replied by ...bashing on him...I was like "WHAT? WTFF GO AWAYY" When to me, I was beyond crushing on him. Why? WHY did I bash like that? cause I was freaking scared. And yenno what that lead me to? Regretting for 5 years straight. Afterwards, it was just awkward and we both had to stop our connections between each other. That same grade (seven) I got confessed to as well...BY HIS FRIEND. .. at least it was on the phone, not msn. But please, MAKING YOUR FRIEND ASK FOR YOU? NO THANKS. "Hi um would you like to go out with my friend so&so" I don't know why, but no fearness or confusion took place, I replied with a simple ... "no". But now, grade 12..never would I expect for another confession..through technology (facebook message) I mean, seriously? Well i'm just glad he told me on msn but his profound english just throws me off - it makes me wanna just give up and ignore you for good. Sorry but, you're just another classmate to me. I had such a hard time telling you "no" when I finally did it today. I got so much support and courage from friends (Y) and for my ex bf? Yes, I finally talked to him for the first time after we broke up. Intense. I tapped him as he passed by me (as the usual , that he would ignore me ) and told him about his dress shirt and sweater. While the talk was in process, he smiled and through a sudden flash it felt like how it was before. It was like just me and him , no one else. I guess i'm really happy talking to him again, as friends for sure. Confronting isn't always easy, but having to do it...the outcome is just non-regrettable. All stress is free and no other worries have to be taken care of. I've womaned up.

I find myself smiling at anytime anywhere

It may all be an act, but it'll be worth the fun. I've been hurt too many times, and I will not make the same mistake. Friends as friends, and that's all it is :) Happy-go-lucky is where it's at.

nothing in this world can turn my smile upside down. Never in my life have I been happy for this long. Aside from the strange signals, and mixed up emotions, my life is better than Hawaii and it's paradise atmosphere combined.

p.s: found my prom dress & i'm ready to silk my way through prom ;) ;)

CANUCKS

CANUCKS FTW. 2 past games disappointed me, today they better not!
Game 4: 2:1 WE CAN PULL IT TOGETHER. SHIT. last game, I just wanted to punch LA Kings. Blind-ass refs. Seriously!

In a miniscule way ...

Currently listening to : Mozart - Pachabelle Cannon in D Major.
I have to just say how I miss my past easy life where eat and sleep was the only thought of living life. But as of now, my march calendar is filled with tasks for graduating, school tests, appointments and due dates...it's like a big fat plate of future was tossed at me in just a blink of an eye. No other buzz of literature can explain this sudden given of future. I've been reading and reading series of novels just to relax myself and fill up those stress gaps. I'm just happy i'm experiencing new things with this 604VanLyfe....ah crap, rewind please.

Golden Olympic Year

GOLD BABY GOLD!!!!!!! CANADA FRIKKEN MADE HISTORY!
We've never won gold in our home soil...and def. never won the MOST gold....TILL TODAY!
I LOVE YOU SIDNEY CROSBY! AND HEY! YOUR DREAM CAME TRUE! Winning the Gold Olympic Shot ;) You made all the canadian hockey fans JUMP AND SCREAM like there's no tomorrow (there is). I myself, enjoyed this ruckus in the superstore lounge along with a few other people. It was about 2 min 3rd period .. 2-1? i'm like psh Heck yea we got this and I got 20 min to spare till I start work, no bigz. but NOOOO in that 24 second USA just had to score ... DAMIT . Then yes overtime ..where my heart literally stopped working and blinking was not even an option. but once I see Sidney Crosby's gold shot .... BOOOOOOOOOOM I LOVE CANADA! I shouldve called and sick just to go downtown. Like the posters said .."HOCKEY IS CANADA'S GAME" And we showed them! Girl's Hockey = Gold + Men's too. Anyways next is the paralympics!! WOOOT Go Canada!!!(

Olympic Valentine

A Game of Love.

Happy valentines
Happy Chinese New Year
Go Canada! We just won a Gold!

So many things happening today and the month of February.
The last time I spent alone on a Valentines was three years ago, and boy I kinda do miss spending a special event for couples. Recieving 100% saturated fat chocolates and soon to rot bouquet roses, it's just love. Truthfulley though, I don't believe in True Love. My past experience was just foolish feelings of infatuations, and celebrating Valentines is just a happy-go-lucky love event I really do love to be part of. Anyways what did I do today? I worked 9 hours straight, love it. My friend asked my, why are you working today? My answer "I'm single and i'm not chinese".

Because people like her, I really miss randomly.

Camille W---- January 4 at 12:42am Report
"i havent seen you in soo long, and i just wanted to tell you your hair is absolutley beautiful! "

her comment wasn't much, but at least she was able to recommunicate with me...cause girls like her.. caucasian, partygirl, and tall...I thought i'd never hear from again..I thought she'd be like one of those girls whom I just knew...but having a random comment like this.. :) (Y)